This morning I had an appointment to see me doctor. I was very glad to see him, because I need some new medication! After waiting for almost an hour, I got to see him and he gave me a new prescription and some recommendations. I will be back in 2 weeks for yet another follow up appointment. I am really hoping these new meds work! I am sick and tired of throwing up!! On the positive (and slightly miraculous) side, I have gained 3 lbs in two weeks!! My doctor was pretty pleased about that :)
Now for today. I was, and still am, really hoping to have a nap. My outing this morning left me super tired, but Nola is still screaming in her crib. It is a little past her nap time, so maybe shes just off, but she has been crying for nearly 20 minutes. Yeesh child, just sleep!
As for some goals, I have none :) I have already gone out and done what I need to do, now I will just take the day as it comes :)
Jess :)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
May 30
Blessings:
- I have great friends. Joanne made us some dinner last night and Mandy is making dinner for us tonight. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends who love and support me :)
- I nearly begged Doug last night to go and buy me some cheesecake. BUT, I was able to stave off my craving with some greek yogurt and raspberries. I am proud of myself that I made a healthy choice.
- I had some energy yesterday, so I made some sweet potato pancakes for the freezer. I am not too sure how good they will taste, but hey, I made them!
- These pills are finally making their way out of my system. I was able to sleep OK again last night and I didn't have a melt down. Yay!
- I have great friends. Joanne made us some dinner last night and Mandy is making dinner for us tonight. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends who love and support me :)
- I nearly begged Doug last night to go and buy me some cheesecake. BUT, I was able to stave off my craving with some greek yogurt and raspberries. I am proud of myself that I made a healthy choice.
- I had some energy yesterday, so I made some sweet potato pancakes for the freezer. I am not too sure how good they will taste, but hey, I made them!
- These pills are finally making their way out of my system. I was able to sleep OK again last night and I didn't have a melt down. Yay!
Monday, May 30, 2011
It's a new day
I am happy to report that I slept last night! Yay! The pills the doctor gave me for the vomiting have given me wicked insomnia. I have been off of them since Thursday, but last night was the first night that I actually fell asleep! I only woke up twice! Yahoo!
I have been feeling a little ambitious today, which is typically a good thing. However, I usually over-do-it and then feel horrible, so I am trying to take it easy. I didn't get all of the laundry finished yesterday, so I am doing that this morning. I am also making some sweet potatoe pancakes to put in the freezer. I was also going to make some chick pea and chicken stew, but that would be me over-doing-it, so I will settle with laundry and pancakes.
A dear friend of mine, Mandy, offered to make Doug and I dinner tonight, which is so wonderful. I love her so much and a appreciae her love.
Thats it for now!
I have been feeling a little ambitious today, which is typically a good thing. However, I usually over-do-it and then feel horrible, so I am trying to take it easy. I didn't get all of the laundry finished yesterday, so I am doing that this morning. I am also making some sweet potatoe pancakes to put in the freezer. I was also going to make some chick pea and chicken stew, but that would be me over-doing-it, so I will settle with laundry and pancakes.
A dear friend of mine, Mandy, offered to make Doug and I dinner tonight, which is so wonderful. I love her so much and a appreciae her love.
Thats it for now!
May 29
Blessings:
- Doug let me sleep for most of the morning and afternoon. He took Nola to church so I could get some rest. He is so amazing and treats me so well.
- I sent an e-mail to two of my friends, apologizing for how 'off' I have been. They both replied with love and concern. I am so blessed and so grateful for people who honestly care about me, my family and our well being. SO blessed.
- For dinner, we went over to Colter and Karmyn's house. It was a wonderful time and I didn't get sick!
- While at the Bates' house, Nola came up and gave me a big hug and a kiss, without me asking her.
- Doug and I had a great chat last night and he did everything he could to help me feel better.
I am very blessed.
- Doug let me sleep for most of the morning and afternoon. He took Nola to church so I could get some rest. He is so amazing and treats me so well.
- I sent an e-mail to two of my friends, apologizing for how 'off' I have been. They both replied with love and concern. I am so blessed and so grateful for people who honestly care about me, my family and our well being. SO blessed.
- For dinner, we went over to Colter and Karmyn's house. It was a wonderful time and I didn't get sick!
- While at the Bates' house, Nola came up and gave me a big hug and a kiss, without me asking her.
- Doug and I had a great chat last night and he did everything he could to help me feel better.
I am very blessed.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
May 28
Blessings:
- I achieved my goal of finding some healthy alternative recipes.
- I took Nola outside for a walk even though I threw up (sorry neighbour)
- My mom came to check up on me. I really didn't deserve it, however she loves me. That means a lot.
- Doug and I snuggled while Nola had a nap.
- I made a grocery list and we went and got our major monthly groceries! It feels great to have that all done!!!
- Doug and I worked as a team last night. I made dinner while he fed Nola. Then we put all of the groceries away, cleaned the kitchen and watched a movie.
Yup, pretty blessed.
- I achieved my goal of finding some healthy alternative recipes.
- I took Nola outside for a walk even though I threw up (sorry neighbour)
- My mom came to check up on me. I really didn't deserve it, however she loves me. That means a lot.
- Doug and I snuggled while Nola had a nap.
- I made a grocery list and we went and got our major monthly groceries! It feels great to have that all done!!!
- Doug and I worked as a team last night. I made dinner while he fed Nola. Then we put all of the groceries away, cleaned the kitchen and watched a movie.
Yup, pretty blessed.
Sunday
Well, it's Sunday and here I am at home, in bed, on the computer. I was really hoping to go to church today as I desperately need to be inspired and need to partake of the sacrament, yet here I am, in bed. This happens most Sundays. I try to get up and get ready, but I end up pushing myself a little too hard and the vomiting comes. I have gone to church and spent most of the time in the bathroom, and I am not all that interested in doing that again, so I stay home. Ugh.
OK, get over it, you are at home so lets make the best of it!
Goals for today...hmmm. I guess one of them would have to be laundry. I have had clothes sitting in both the washer and the dryer for 3 days - I should probably do something with them. Also, the sun is shinning so I figure I should try to spend a little time outside. I could sit out on the deck and let my daughter play. We are suppose to go over to a friends house for dinner, so hopefully I will feel better by then so we can still go.
Alright, thats enough goals for today. Wish me luck.
Jess
OK, get over it, you are at home so lets make the best of it!
Goals for today...hmmm. I guess one of them would have to be laundry. I have had clothes sitting in both the washer and the dryer for 3 days - I should probably do something with them. Also, the sun is shinning so I figure I should try to spend a little time outside. I could sit out on the deck and let my daughter play. We are suppose to go over to a friends house for dinner, so hopefully I will feel better by then so we can still go.
Alright, thats enough goals for today. Wish me luck.
Jess
Saturday, May 28, 2011
I should be shot
My goodness, I am a horrible person.
Today, my parents were planning on taking Nola for the afternoon for some Gramma and Grampa time. Well, my folks called at 9:15 this morning saying they were going to take Nola for a walk this morning instead. Mornings are hard for me and I was not ready at all, neither was Nola. Long story short, I pushed myself to get up and get ready and I started vomiting. I called my Mom and told her I wouldn't be able to meet her at the park because I was getting sick, and she was not impressed. How did I respond? Oh, I only yelled at her and threw the phone across the kitchen.
Ugh. My emotions are HELL!
I called her back and told her that I just wanted time with Nola, so she could just go back home. Of course, I knew that would hurt her feelings but I'm a monster so I didn't care. Knowing my mom, I knew she would come out to my house anyways, so I took Nola outside for a little walk around the neighbourhood. I saw my Mom pull up to my house twice, but I kept my distance. I thought I was in the clear, so I headed home, but just as we were in the drive-way, she pulled up.
I hate confrontation. I hate talking to people when I am not ready. I hate being emotional and vulnerable, yet here I was, face-to-face with the woman I just treated like dirt.
I apologized, because I truly was and still am sorry. She was great - as usual - and accepted my apology and just wanted to make sure I was OK. My Dad took Nola for a few minutes while we talked. Everything worked out in the end. My mom still loves me, I still love her.
So, I guess it's back to the councillor I go. I know I have been needed to do this, but I just hate dealing with it. My depression is coming back and is doing it's best to settle in, but I have to fight, fight, fight at all costs. I will not let my life be like that, ever again. I choose happiness.
Pray for me
Jess
Today, my parents were planning on taking Nola for the afternoon for some Gramma and Grampa time. Well, my folks called at 9:15 this morning saying they were going to take Nola for a walk this morning instead. Mornings are hard for me and I was not ready at all, neither was Nola. Long story short, I pushed myself to get up and get ready and I started vomiting. I called my Mom and told her I wouldn't be able to meet her at the park because I was getting sick, and she was not impressed. How did I respond? Oh, I only yelled at her and threw the phone across the kitchen.
Ugh. My emotions are HELL!
I called her back and told her that I just wanted time with Nola, so she could just go back home. Of course, I knew that would hurt her feelings but I'm a monster so I didn't care. Knowing my mom, I knew she would come out to my house anyways, so I took Nola outside for a little walk around the neighbourhood. I saw my Mom pull up to my house twice, but I kept my distance. I thought I was in the clear, so I headed home, but just as we were in the drive-way, she pulled up.
I hate confrontation. I hate talking to people when I am not ready. I hate being emotional and vulnerable, yet here I was, face-to-face with the woman I just treated like dirt.
I apologized, because I truly was and still am sorry. She was great - as usual - and accepted my apology and just wanted to make sure I was OK. My Dad took Nola for a few minutes while we talked. Everything worked out in the end. My mom still loves me, I still love her.
So, I guess it's back to the councillor I go. I know I have been needed to do this, but I just hate dealing with it. My depression is coming back and is doing it's best to settle in, but I have to fight, fight, fight at all costs. I will not let my life be like that, ever again. I choose happiness.
Pray for me
Jess
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